When I wash my face after a day of wearing make up, it feels so good to take it all off. And when I look up again and see myself in the mirror, even when my face is still wet, I can’t really say I think I’m any uglier without. Maybe that is because I’m doing it wrong, or maybe that is because I do it for some reason other than to make myself pretty. I don’t know yet. I think it makes me act differently, slightly. I feel like I can talk more, because I want people to think I make an effort. Wait, that was a bit of a leap. When people see me, I want them to think I put time into the way I present myself to the world, or to them. So on days that I actually do, those are the days I want to get all the talking done. All the interacting. Those are errand-running days. Talk to the teacher days. Clay’s mother is back days. Maybe I will comment on something to the person sitting next to me, or go walk around instead of sitting and reading someplace quiet and alone. You never know what could happen, or who you could meet.

is good for books and movies and pictures and things that make me feel close to them while actually keeping them a good distance away. Given the choice to go visit the Twisted Lands, fascinating as they are, I think I would probably be too scared. After all, it is a messed up, often frightening Land, and a Land from which we may or may not return. And knowing what we know about the Twisted Lands (that is to say, not much), we would probably be raped and eaten before the end of our first day’s visit.
So… maybe not.
… or maybe still.

Place – Spirit Rock
Drink (non-alcoholic) – Tea
Drink (alcoholic) – Buggy
Ears – Surfer’s
Food – Rice
Tree – Grandmother Tree (Bev. Park)
Tshirt – Pink Floyd
Teacher – Mr. O’Connor
Body Part – Palms
Boosh Quote – Anything that starts “When you are the moon…”
Notebook – Halifax
Video Game – MarioKart 64
Tooth – Keno’s Saber Tooth
Musical – American Astronaut
Coffee Drink – Latte+Honey
Canadian Movie Star – Keanu Reeves
Cupcake in Napa – Kara’s
Coffee in Napa – Napa Valley Roasting Co.
Band in Napa – Body or Brain
Ice Cream – Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food
Canoeing Partner – Rob
Camping Partner – Rob
Roller Blading Partner – Rob
Dad – Mine
Confuzoi – Milly
Mug – The White One With Red Edges
Fruit – Mango
Berry – Blue
Car – Clay’s
Mountain – Alyeska
Bear – Polar
Sunglasses – Red Ones
Lemonade – Strawberry
Vampire Slayer – Buffy

I assume everybody I meet in the darkness is a vampire. Or about to be eaten by one.

Clay and I went to the Napa Battle of the Bands last night and there were good bands and great bands and gosh darn that Magnanimous with the cartoon voice was cool. Body or Brain won, because they are the awesomest, and the Helen Kellers sound so much better in real life than they do on MySpace, and they sounds pretty amazing on there, too!

It is the beginning of the summer, and that means afternoon naps in the sunshine and picnics on the beach and waterfights with squirty water bottles I cannot wait!

I hate history. I know what happens. I shout at them to do the right thing, but they screw it all up anyways and theres nothing I can do about it and I have to live with the mistakes they made. Old newspaper articles are pretty bad, I think. I found some early articles about AIDS in the NY Times, looks like this:

OUTLOOK ON AIDS IS TERMED BLEAK

A DEFENSE AGAINST NO DEFENSE

NEW HOMOSEXUAL DISORDER WORRIES HEALTH OFFICIALS

CASES OF AIDS IN CITY INCREASE AT SLOWER RATE THAN WAS PREDICTED

HOMOSEXUALS FIND A NEED TO REASSESS

AIDS RISK HELD SLIGHT FOR THOSE ON TRANSFUSIONS

INFANT WHO RECEIVES TRANSFUSION DIES OF IMMUNE DEFICIENCY ILLNESS

DISEASE STIRS FEARS ON BLOOD SUPPLY

and reading them upsets me in much the same but still slightly different way to the articles on global warming with people sitting back and thinking aloud “hm, this isnt looking so great.” You’re Doing It All Wrong. Hate history. HATE IT.

yesterday
thrice i saw three crows whilst walking through the park, and i am pretty sure three dead crows are a sign of impending apocalypse, so because they were alive i think maybe it is a sign of the opposite of that? a new world, rebirth, a time of creation and all that. i probably get too excited about crows, but it was one of those things that should have been ordinary, but for whatever reason just really stood out to me. so anyways, good luck with the anti-apocalypse, everybody!

Stephen King is a sick and twisted man. The Mist is not a movie i need to ever see again.
happy new year, thank you and goodnight.

Old enough to go to all the shows! Went to see Mantasy last night, which was fun even though I missed Mantasy themselves playing their magical instruments. Still managed to hear the first band, who were… remarkably forgettable.

Oh, and cake, of course.
Lots and lots of cake
(in the sink)

Also, a list!
Things I Would Like To Do:
- go vegan! ish!
- go to school!
- stop going to school.
- go to SCOTLAND
- get a drivers license

Yeah, that is enough ambition for now.

Oh wait but also the young adults retreat again in august because i cant pass up an opportunity to learn from the spirit rock teachers and reconnect with old friends and practice qigong with teja and meditate with a whole bunch of other weirdo hippies for a week. There is just so much good at spirit rock, i cant wait to go back!

(thanks!)

christmas packs a mean punch. i hurt all over.

wondering what to put on this here wonderful little nook of t’interweb that andrew so beautifully put together for me…

- 365 photo challenge? except i will get bored and i will not have 365 photos.
- notebook scratches? i write in notebook, i can write on computer? am i right? would that be interesting to anybody but me? hmmm unlikely.
- carefully crafted compositions designed to inform and amuse the reader. trouble with this one being that i like to think i have better things to do.

probably there will be pieces all of these, or none of them, who could know? certainly not i.